Tuesday, February 12, 2013

On My Heart: Fear

In recent years I sometimes experience deep fear or dread.  While I think some fear is good just like everything else in life, fear is best in moderation or none at all.  Sometimes 75% of the time this fear leads me to be unproductive for the chance of being harshly judged or criticized for putting myself out there.  I've debated about writing this for the fear of the obvious but I think this will help me to overcome whatever this fear is.  For me fear leads to doubt then to procrastination which then leads wasting precious life away.  And life is too short to be wasted.

I noticed this started when I was a senior in college.  I was dealing with some anxiety which I cannot pinpoint if a certain thing or situation ignited this.  After I graduated there was a love situation where I had fully put myself out there and the aftermath totally shook me to my core and left me with doubt that I wasn't good enough.  For a few years afterwards I was afraid to find love and to live out my dreams.

Since meeting my husband I feel that I have made gains in gaining more confidence  But at times it just feels like a rollercoaster.  I know it can't be ups all the times, but I think the dreading needs to stop.  Making to-do lists helps though I've noticed I put the most important tasks to do last.

I have an interview next week and I'm kinda scared after emailing my previous supervisor about how the interview works and she informed me that alot of it is scenario based what ifs.  I should mention that  its a phone interview, which I would rather have a face to face interview but hey that how life is sometimes.

My goal for 2013 is to get rid with this fear and dread once and for all.  I think I need some positive mantras.

What are your mantras for achieving your goals? 

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